Delaware Anxiety Spelled Out

So I'm sitting here with Kristin talkin and she won't stop harrassing me! Hellow to my new follower MELISSA!!! Please don't be antisocial plz and keep reading. You're my only real person to blog to...CULLLL_DEEEEEEE_SACCCCCC MOISTTTTTT...anyways if I haven't detered alllll my readers by know I don't know what will!! So grand new issue. How I know or at least should be coming back to Delaware (not Mizzou).

My parents make claims. They want me to switch cuz they dont like the grades I've gotten. I've gotte a C, D+, and C+, the latter shoulda been an A-...idk what happened. 3 semesters, all grades at B or above (except that one cursed grade). I have a 3.0, I still have my GPA, I love life out there, and they want to take that away.

Now I did sign a contract saying this past semester I would make 2 As, and nothing lower than a B (no B-). I got that, awaiting my last grade...and it comes in as a C+. So they do have a non legal document to keep to.

Whats stopping them: a legal lease on a house that me and 3 other bro-has are living in next year. Mrs Smith (Mrs DUDE) is a hardass who doesn't allow subletting and rarely rents to males b/c of their.....track record. So its a blessing we got the house. She also said if one of us (Dan) was to drop out (cuz of grades) he would still have to pay rent regaurdless of if he was living there or no....so this phrase applies to me...DIRECTLY. So mum and dad dont' seem to have too good of a shot of getting out of it.

They're willing to go to court (hypothetically) for this, but with cost of court, that just makes the money their saving by seneding me to hick Mizzou will lessen (6 thou a year). If they dont get out of the lease and have to pay it, thats 6 thousands so its as if their paying out of state tuition at Delaware while sending me to Mizzou (no housing included in Delaware costs) so this would defeat their purpose.

The only sensible thing would be, if they got out of the lease, then I would be coming back IMMEDIATELY. only catch is i would need to find a replacement for the guys (providing they dont' lose the house). if they lose the house, then i'm the asshole who ruined their lives (or just housing situation) and finding housing that late would be a nightmare.

Parents Flawed logic:
The want me back b/c I didn't fulfill my contract ok. They say 1. Its not finnancial, 2. Its about grades (contract...okay)
1. Its not about grades b/c if i went to mizzou and made another C they wouldn't pull me out (i asked). dad was caught saying they would care about my grades upon which he said he would care just not as much. so its not about grades...and they are willing to set a double standard on grades b/t schools. then i asked bout that and they said their not paying for me to go to delaware to make Cs thus making this.....

2. Finnancial. Paying to go to delaware, outta state, is about 6 thou more than mizzou (including scholarship). pardon me for working my ass off in HS and getting a scholarship. i also wrote then a note one nite when i had an anxiety attack and said I'd pay for the 6000 a year if they wanted, or would pay for any class i got lower than a B in. they said no because its not about the finnancial...thus bringing us back to grades...

see number 1

this leads to a cyclical cycle of redundancy! hahahahahahaha that was fun

sooooo i don't think they will follow thru or if they do it will be costly. I am going ot make this hard for them, tears will be shed, hatred will be felt for a while, words will not be spoken for weeks if this happens, loneliness will probably ensue too. i just used a sweet work ensue!

thats my post for tonight...next time, the Computer diaries. My comp crashed, it traveled to stores...get the real story on dateline tomorrow

Song for the next semester:
Full Circle-Aerosmith

Time
Don't let it slip away
Raise yo' drinkin' glass
Here's to yesterday
In Time
We're all gonna trip away
Don't piss Heaven off
We got Hell to pay
Come full circle

1st Blog...beware

So...I have never blogged...but roomie extrodonaire David chun has told me to start! But where to start.

Winter at home. 4 friends, all coming and going as i stay stagnant. Short bursts with each of them, each as enjoyable as the next, yet in the end leaving me wishing they didn't leave. Then people at school that I miss... Those are the ones I'm going to have to deal with. As some (since no one knows i even have a blog now...no audience) know I am going to be transferring to Mizzou in August because I got a C+ instead of the B+ or A- i was expecting in Accounting. My parents bluffed the last time and I "talked them outta it" but this time...I'm sure they are sure I'm transferring. So now, as last winter this happened, I love talking with people from school.

At home I never had a social life. My sister was the one who went out a bunch a drank some and "typical" HS stuff. I never did. I stayed in, watched movies, mama's boy you could say, and hung out with Zach a ton. There was also schupp, mark, and Caitlin i would hang with. I never partied, despised alcohol (ha funny now) so i never built up relationships with people who did. I was "friends" with lots of people...aka in school we could hold a convo, but nothing really more. One you pass in the hall and say what's up and they respected you and you them. Nothing came of that.

Came to Delaware and finally made a social life, drank yes, but had a social life! I've grown to love...deep love for these people (the fam...knowing they probs wont be reading this). Forced to live near me we all grew close, went out together, hung together, played vid games together, made me cry on their floor for hours at wee hours of the morning, etc... These people as well as many other I have finally become friends with, hung out with on regular basis, and did everything i never did at home. This was a new life and the entire reason for going to Delaware. Get away from Missouri, find new people to live with, to love and support, and for them to be my all. I found that!

Each winter I go through with drawl, especially when schupp, Caitlin, mark, and Zach all go back to their respective schools. I'm use to (HS w/ Zach and UD w/ the fam) seeing people and knowing daily routines and just being one with them (weird but i can tell u what Zach did everyday this past week...bad...maybe addictive to know). Now I haven't even talked to Brister or Andrew in the month Ive been gone. Jess on wall-to-wall and voice chat once (<3ed>

Andrew and Brister...my bro duo that I've had to take major leaps with last year have now given them my all (or at least most of it) but being away its the with drawl. Now I know them so i know that online chatting isn't their thing. They are taking classes, Bristers gf is there so he'll spend times w/ her...and Andrew...idk what he'll even do but it would be great to catch up. I never wanna seem clingy or attached needing to know what's up, but it would be great to know. haven't talked to them in a month besides stupid texts. I send them cuz...I do something here and no one will ever know about it (sorry mum u don't count) and i want my winter life to matter. They make my college life matter but winter...i guess i should just go incognito. I really just wanna talk...yeah Dave, our convo's can start out trivial and stupid and pointless but like tonight shows...we can talk about important things. Maybe to them talking bout some trivial stuff doesn't mean anything but...its me...socially unstable Jimmy sitting at home w/ his fantastic 4 (i coined this phrase mind you) back at college. Even so...its like not talking to your brother or sister (for me at least) for a month. I just like checking up. So maybe they hide from me so i don't talk to them bout petty things for 30 min. But what the fuck. Isn't that what talking is...isn't that what catching up is?! I talk to kristin most days and if we have nothing to talk about we don't talk but i watched aliens (horrible movie) tonight and talked to her bout making pasta and then showed her a horrible clip of a guy being torn in half! Pasta...trivial but she wanted a recipe and i told her bout it and stuff. So I just really miss my men in 320B and would love to say more than hey...or look i made k'nex...or I'm going to get u a case of crown royal for your bday and have 2 word texts cuz yes those r annoying but that's the only way i can talking to them. I care bout their petty things, I love them...i miss them too much

Jess is lovely...few wall posts and a voice chat! Miss and love her...idk what shes doing with her life at all but...w/e...she gives me wall posts and makes me feel wanted.

Amy is golden...in Ghana and the rest of the world. Can't complain bout her not talking to me.

Dave.....Dave will prolly read this (maybe not this far) but he keeps me in check. Never had a roomie like this guy. Never knew where this roommate-ship would go but he keeps me in check. I should be less clingy...talking bout day to day things can apparently bore people...we talk women, men, ideas, farting in bed and laughing...amazing man! He prompted me to write this...and glad I did. I feel better already.

So to wrap up (if you skipped this all and hoped I recapped at the end), I would love to talk to Jess a little more, like to see signs of life from Brister and Andrew, and wish Amy best of luck on her travels. Dave...keep slapping me in the face saying "Dude you gotta stop doing this" and telling me to get a grip on life. I do...and I shall blog about it and have no one read it. It is now out of my system. <3>

Song of the day- Cortez the Killer